A braided jacket in blue. Was walking ft talking with a friend of mine and came acrossed to this open arena where the racks and sacks for clothes were built up like mountain. Decided to just "look" but end up buying a lots clothing with the cheapest price. Satisfied I must say (Y)
Who could have ever imagine to be finally get over things that aren't unnecessary. Yep, life goes up and down but it must moves on. So I am finally 20 and I think I've succeed in letting go things that would fucked up my whole life again?
Here's the thing. I start to realise that getting sad and cried for hours won't change anything where I know that I used to be like that. I used to think I'll never be better but I've realise that its just me who won't budge to change. My girls used to tell me, "stop being sad. you is worth." Well, I guess I am stopping from being sad and depressed.
It was the anxiety. It tells me to be sad. Tells me to not let things go and keep on reminding me that I have to be sad. Millionth times I convinced myself that I will be stuck in this world that I created it myself; fulls of torture and torment. But at the peak of my youth, 20's, I stil have a long way to go to get stressed over silly things.
Yep, I'm letting things go and I'm doing great.
Looking outside of my comfort zone makes me feel sick. I know I'm not supposed to believe that I'm all matters as there are so many people that could click on my insecurities in a blink of eye. Been feeling this since high school, and can't get rid of it. I just want to feel okay with what is mine. I just wanted to get rid of all these insecurities. I know I am better than others in my own way. I know words are just words but sometimes I gave in and questioned myself everytime, ''are all my efforts still not anough?". I wish I could just shut people's mouth when they starts to point out my insecurities. Maybe I should stop trying to be someone else. But everytime as I starts to feel confident and bold, I see myself in a mirror and I don't like what I see. Is my insecurities is very ill?