A narcoleptic, insecure, sad, cold. Eza, 19.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Page 366 out of 366. Book titled, 2012.

Last day of 2012 / 31.12.12 - Here I was again. Wishing to the people that I knew. Hello there. Honestly, 2012 was the toughest year that I've been trough. I got a lot of depression and stress. Know why? Cause I'm struggling to get straight A's in PMR. Guess I didn't work hard yet to achieve what am I suppose to get. Frankly, I did fall in love with someone. And now, still remain the same. I love 2012 cause everything that I never seen before had been roled in front of me. 

First, of course my classmates. They are all easy-going person and always always love to talk till I can't focus in class. Their mouth is just too.. Much. And their voice is just too.. Loud. But I love all every single thing that they had. That is what makes me so in love with their bad attitude. The teachers that always keep on nagging about PMR is getting near, their every single sweat drops just to make us learn makes me think that knowledge isn't about listening, writing down on exercise book or memorize it. It's about on how we learn with all of our heart. Love knowledge, and knowledge will loves you. I love you all 3Dedikasi.

Friends. Bestfriend forever. Girlfriends. Missing darlings. My girl. Thank you for being there whenever each of us in need. Such a lie when we said we didn't have any arguments every year. That what's make us keep on standing still on the position of being bff. I know if one of us cause any problems, we all would sit back and talk. Well, first, of course not having a talk on how to put us back together. Instead, we talk about each other's back. Funny. Truly funny darlings. And Shasha, my favorite. I hope you're doing just fine in your new school and house. Please do visit us when you have time!

Him. The one that I called.. Uhm.. Ok proceed. Thank you for being such a good person to the poor people. I know deep in your heart, you are not being the best. But for me, you are. I just hope that one day Allah will open your heart & convert into Islam. Being good to the poor is not enough. Learn Islam and you'll know the truth. In Shaa Allah.

Faith. My faith in Allah grew bigger. Alhamdulillah. I don't know how to say this but everytime I think on negative thoughts, my heart and mind would be thinking of Allah. Why would I feel sad, mad and depress whenever Allah wants to know how far I can be patient on his test? Know one thing. I always cry my heart out whenever I see my ownself on the reflection of the mirror. I am so.. Big. I'm so fat. Compares to my girls, I'm the only that looked like a young lady that have graduate or working. I hate my face, I hate everything that I had on me. I never said Alhamdulillah for what Allah gave to me. I'm being toooo arrogant. And now I realize, this is only in Dunia. I also realize that I have to think positively so that I won't let myself feels depress again.


Here's to the end 2012, page 366 out of 366. Thank you for teaching on how to grow up. We shall never meet again but the memories always there, in my diary heart. 

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